The Deep Conflict Between Our Work and Parenting Ideals
About this episode
Why do Americans have so few children even though Sweden — with 480 days of paid leave, childcare at $175 a month, and strong gender equality — has a nearly identical fertility rate (1.67 vs. 1.66)? Caitlyn Collins, sociologist and author of "Making Motherhood Work" based on interviews in four countries, introduces the "lifeworlds" of parenthood: American parenting is defined by stress and going it alone. Her core frame is the clash between the "ideal worker" norm (total devotion to the job) and the "intensive parenting" norm (total devotion to the child) — Mary Blair-Loy's "competing devotions" — which she says is crushing American parents. Collins argues policy is necessary but insufficient; culture must change. She doesn't care about the fertility rate as a target — she'd open borders — but wants a society where people can truly choose both work and family.